All my life, I have had to deal with certain insecurities; insecurities relatedto my birth and adoption. I have felt unwanted, unloved and undeserving of care at some point. All these stemmed from the fact that my birth parents left me or put me up for adoption. ‘What could have been their reason?’ I always wondered. And although myadopted parents were very good to me,I just couldn’t help but feel like I didn’t belong. It wasn’t just the feeling of belonging that was absent, it was the physical aspect too. People would ask why I was so different from my adopted parents and why I didn’t look like them too and I wouldn’t say anything or I would just say things like‘I don’t know. I guess it happens’ I didn’t have anyone to talk to about how I felt and that created a big problem. I didn’t know if they would understand how I was feeling or have the right words to encourage me. I guess all I wanted was a conversation with my birth parents. I felt depressed and I really wanted to talk to someone but there was no one to talk to, like I said. I persisted in seeking help and self-love and at the end of the day, I got both.
Not completely, but I’m on a journey. And yes, I know now that I am good enough. I am very much enough. I decided that I wouldn’t let what happened years ago determine who I am or would be in the future. There is so much more to me than my adoption.I am loved and you are too.
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